This past Sunday was Easter. I had a great day with the family. No more Easter egg hunts for the kids (okay, so they're 25 and 19). As a matter of fact, I didn't buy any Easter candy this year. NO peeps, marshmallow eggs, or all those other things I buy for others because I am selfless like that. I then tend to 'help' them consume these treats because I am nothing if not helpful.

Instead this year, I made a small, simple dinner. I did make everyone's favorite dessert but just a single batch which worked out to one serving per person.

I then took the frozen cookie dough that I had purchased from a school fund raiser (which has been sitting in my freezer taunting me) and baked all the cookies and gave them away.

So it's a new week and I'm left with no leftovers and no temptations.

Life is good.....

Priorities

I haven’t written in a long time and my weight is up since last fall.

What do I attribute this to: winter blues, family crisis, working overtime….
I would love to stick a label on it and place blame. But it was me.

It was poor planning on my part, not setting my priorities, and having big, catered pity parties for one. Not the best plan.

Gandhi said it best: Action expresses priorities.

Problems vs. Decisions

You don’t have a problem; you have decisions to make.

Well, that’s an interesting statement and a fun parlor game when you’re playing with someone else’s life. When you start applying it to your own life—it’s not quite so fun as it’s often difficult to discern a real problem from something that you’ve just accepted as such.

A problem locks you in and drains you. But when you have a decision to make, there is a sense of energy that comes into play as you analyze the situation and begin to turn it over and look at it from different angles instead of just accepting the view from a self imposed pity party. Even the process of making a difficult decision can give you a sense of empowerment as you come to realize that you own the decision and the consequence. They don’t own you and for some reason that is freeing.

We spend our energies on people and things that are out of our control and overlook the things that we can control. When we come to accept this, we will begin to see that we have far fewer problems than we think we do and many more decisions to make. The more decisions we make, the fewer problems we will have.

Mind Over Matter

I did it! I sat with my angst yesterday and didn't budge....I flinched and it wasn't easy but I stayed. It's not that I expect it to be easy but.........

But what?
I know that the longer I stay and do the things I need to be healthy~~emotionally, spiritually, physically~~the easier it is to stay and do the things I need to be healthy. It's when I step away for a time that it's hard to come back.

Then there's the matter of support: when I'm doing the right things, I show up and I share and these things only strengthen my staying power. The opposite occurs when I'm choosing unhealthy living. I stay away from the people and places who support me in healthy ways. This staying away only encourages and allows for prolonged periods of poor behavior and makes it harder to come back and face myself and others. And now it's not an outside voice telling me when I'm on a destructive path because my body informs me as my joints get more painful from the extra pounds and inactivity during my down times.

I know that the body is an amazing machine that responds to even small changes by sending out neurotransmitters that enhance the mind and block pain in the body. I know that the mind is an amazing mechanism and the real catalyst for change. Yesterday I changed my mind and the rest of me hobbled along after it.

Middle Ground

There is no peak to the mountain you are climbing, just rest stops along the way.

So there you have it:
I have been at a ‘rest stop along the way’ but now it’s time to get moving again. I had my knee surgery two weeks ago and I am sick of hanging around. To be honest, even the two weeks prior to my surgery were spent waiting around for my surgery date. These pity parties are getting old and my excuses sounding lame even to me.

I’m off to the gym now to ride the stationary bike. I will take it slow and that is where I find it most difficult as I’m usually at ‘full speed ahead’ or a ‘dead stop’. It’s the middle ground I find difficult to maintain.

But difficult doesn’t mean impossible…….